My encounters with English

As promised this post would be about my "intersection" with English :)

Those who know me must have "derived" or "calculated" about my command over the English language.

I wasn't as "negative" with the most common language of the world as I am at "t=0". In fact, I started my schooling in a state board school and therefore I couldn't manage equally good marks in English too. But then English or for that matter any language was more like a Social Science subject where we were only expected to rattafy those standard answers from the digest and puke in the exam!

My encounters started when I switched to a CBSE school; there I realized two things -
• My 1 + 1 = 2 is very good
• My ABCD is screwed.
What started as simple integration problem eventually turned to a partial differential (defect) in me. And my loves for the language become stronger as I grew old (or should I say young). By the time I realized that the "limit is tending to zero", I had passed 12th standard and the "probability" of getting it back was equal to getting both heads and tails in a single toss of an "unbiased" coin !

Not that I had lost time during college but then the "relative velocity" drifted me away from the thought of improving my English. The "universal set U" only had 10% students from English medium school and hence I was hovering around the 95%ile mark in terms of proficiency over the language.

Again at "t=graduation" I dropped to somewhere around 40!!!

By the time I joined TCS, I was at a stage where I started blaming the language and its propagators for creating so much hype about "English". I made myself believe and even preached the usage of English or any language as a means of communication. At the same time I made sure that I restrict myself to the usage .00001% of English vocabulary I had command over, and at the same time minimizing any grammatical mistakes. I would also make a confession here; I still frame the sentence in Hindi and then try to convert it in English.... Not word to word but with "95% confidence level" in an "integer" form.

Some of my achievements or accolades received are -
1. I once said a statement - "Balaji you check the front, I will take care of the back".... I meant frisking a colleague but the others thought otherwise.
2. "I have to get my girl friend married next year" ... I meant "I am marrying her next year".
3. I still don't understand what is the exact difference between effect, affect and all those similar sounding confusing words.
4. I managed to score a 18%ile in CAT 2007 Verbal Section, Actually my SimCAT scores had a perfectly normal distribution with zero excessive kurtosis (40+- 35%ile)
5. I still don’t understand what’s the difference between "I and X" and "X and I" or "X and Me"
6. I still don’t watch English Movies or listen to English Songs simply because of the fact that I cannot comprehend such accent “biased” language.

Just because I am making all the confessions, it doesn't mean I regret being a dha or paidal in English...

Some of the conversation I have encountered are -

A friend once said, I was just "thinking aloud" - bole to zorse soch rahi thi
Another one once said, Stay out of my fucking business - Mere *^^$(# dhande se dur raho


If you want to read some more (not original) follow this link.

So now what??? As I said I have accepted my limitations and hence I am living with it, but I do make sure that whenever I hear a new word I try and remember the meaning and usage of the same. That ways I am improving at snail's pace and my friends enjoy the five minute humour.

P.S I have tried showcasing my Math skills by deliberately using substitutes which are mathematically similar (in quotes). Not that I am a mathematics genius, but I am decent I feel.

~Aniruddha

Whats Up?

Its been long since I updated my blog, so thought of this quick post!

I am busy loving(1) the "huge" CFA material these days, not much work load at college (nothing actually).

Anyways I have finally decided my next blog, as beer was my obvious first; English must be the second. I will be writing on my love(2) with the language (or the lack of it).

Too much of love (3), Missing you Akshata :( ...

~Aniruddha!

What Next?

Guys,

My next post is due, and I want to make it BIG this time :)... Any suggestions on what the topic should be? The reason why I am asking is, since I am already handicapped with the language I want to compensate with the content in a big way.

Suggestions welcome.

~Aniruddha

BEER

After a lot of thinking about what my first post should look like I have nailed down on my favourite topic - Beer!


For the non-greatlakers - this is not about my drinking habits or my drinking experiences here in Great Lakes but the pain associated with drinking here.

Although I have had the opportunity (or the lack of it) of drinking only in Mahabbalipuram, most things apply throughout Chennai.

The thing which disturbs everybody here the most is this stupid rule; Alcohol is permitted to be sold only in govt stores [ The Tamil Nadu State Marketing Corporation Limited (TASMAC) ] and only liquor which is bottled in the state can be sold! As if the rule of TASMAC wasn’t enough there is another strange rule. All shacks in Mahabs are only allowed to sell beer.
Now what it essentially means is the best beer available is KF (if in stock) and the best whiskey is RC or Signature. It doesn't really bother a beertoddler like me but its definitely a pain in the a$$ for hard liquor regulars to say the least! OK, I am almost as comfortable with KF as I am with fosters.

Going to mahabs is worth an entire post all together so I’m not getting into it at this stage.
Once we reach mahabs (I have never been there alone yet, but would definitely want to do it once!) it is an achievement if we find a place where we get all the three together – Beer (KF), Chicken and Time. Initial visits were worse; in quest of the mentioned goal we have had unbelievable experiences

• Strange brands of beer, unheard or rather un imaginable up north – Marco Polo, Golden Eagle, Vorion 6000, Kalyani, Hunter to name a few beers.
I distinctly remember trying to open up a Kalyani beer with my teeth. More than of the bottle’s ring got uprooted along with the cap.
• Restaurant serving chilli chicken with bones (constituting 80% of the total volume). The guy had the balls to force the mistake onto us, according to him boneless chilli chicken is “made to order”.
• Tandori Chicken which is actually fried. This was a restaurant in which my girlfriend wouldn’t even walk in, the kitchen actually smelled like a graveyard of rats!
• A gora threatening us of dire consequences when we had a verbal fight with a group of goras.
“I am staying here for 6 months, don’t talk to me like that you bloody outsiders”, for a moment everybody wondered if this was Mahabs or Sri Lanka!

There is a typical way Restaurant owners/waiters behave with us, especially now when they know us (Great Lakes students rather). No matter how much they hate us, they can’t deny us access simply because of the fact the revenues we generate for them is very close to that generated by the tourists (if not better). At the same time, seldom we see concepts like “Customer Satisfaction” into action. When the luck goes for a ride, we are treated as if they are paying us to be their guests. No matter how much you enquire about the stock of KF in the fridge, the moment I finish my first bottle KF is out of stock. Even before the first order is placed the waiter reminds us of the kitchen closing time. And that we have to place all our orders before that, as if we have just escaped from a Tsunami relief camp and this is the only chance we have got to drink and dine.

As of now, we manage are managing pretty well with the food and beer! But what it means is we only have two or at max three choices of shacks. To top it up, as the elective terms have started I am hopeful that disaster of having a free day for the entire batch won’t happen again. In case you are still wondering, then its a scene when every shack in mahab would have atleast 20 guests from Great Lakes. And no matter how much you try the three forces (discussed above) would never combine!

Looking back at the last hour I have spent writing this post, I am not sure if I have done a decent job. It can be probably called an OK post, but hey I am learning.

If you are still reading, thanks :)

P.S Pic courtesy Rushabh Shah...
~Aniruddha

My first post

Hi,

Since you are on this page, you know by know that I have decided to blog too.

You must be thinking as to why is Aniruddha/Marathe/Ani/Guddu/Mak/Makodi/Bond has started blogging all of a sudden. Well its not for publicity but purely for self interest. PGPM has taught me to be selfish, not that I wasn't (:P) but ab kaam nikalvana aata hai mujhe. The purpose of this blog is to pen down the learnings/experiences i have had in my life and/or any typical souls I have met in life.

So keep waiting for my first post!

~Aniruddha